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Ugly Christmas Sweaters for Pets Ranked According to Ugliness

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

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One of the best parts of the holiday season is ugly Christmas sweaters – and the uglier the better. The sweaters look awful (in the best way possible!) and we can’t recommend them enough. Here are our favorite ugly sweaters ranked from least to most ugly.

Christmas Ugly Sweater with Bow

Ugly Score: 3/5

Bows can be super adorable – that is, provide they’re actually real bows and not part of the knit pattern. If ugly, giant knit bows are your style though, then this is the sweater for you. This sweater is red with garish green trim and features a huge bow on the back. Buy it here.

Ugly Sweater with Candy Cane

Ugly Score: 3.5/5

Got a hankering for some holiday treats? This candy cane sweater is sure to satisfy your sweet tooth. The candy cane is dressed up with a ribbon and sprig of holly and is set against a not-so-subtle zigzag background. And this sweater goes above and beyond color-wise. Instead of being limited to traditional green and red, this sweater also features gray, brown, teal and blue zigzag stripes. Find it here.

Xmas Patterned Ugly Sweater

Ugly Score: 4/5

Are snowmen more your speed? Then this sweater is a must-have for your next ugly sweater party. It has a line of snowmen dancing across the back with buckled(?) hats. Maybe they’re snowpilgrims? It’s unclear. You’ll just have to buy the sweater to figure it out for yourself. The sweater also features a row of Christmas trees… with teeth… like the face of a sun in a cheap orthodontist ad. Get the sweater here.

Reindeer Sweater

Ugly Score: 5/5

Since color theory, design and just plain good taste go out the window when it comes to ugly sweaters, this one has a… er… “refined” color palette consisting of forest green, lime green, red and brown. Big reindeer stride across the back. The sweater also has columns of varying heights and colors. It looks like the kind of sweater my 3-year-old brother wore for picture day in the early ‘90s. Pure class, my friends. Pure class. And at the top of the columns are tiny smiling Christmas trees. Some of them are upside down, but all of them are watching you. Big Brother Christmas Trees are watching you. Always. Find the sweater here.

Ugly Sweater with Christmas Tree

Ugly Score: 100/5

Go big or go home! The last sweater may have had a bunch of tiny grinning Christmas trees, but this one features a GIANT Christmas tree. Its eyes follow you like the Mona Lisa. And the reign of lime-green terror continues with this sweater. The Christmas tree is inexplicably grass-green instead of a forest green. It’s like some sort of awful kiwi-colored California Raisin – minus the sneakers and good tunes. This Christmas tree also has teeth. The tree clearly flosses and uses whitening strips on its pearly whites, so this sweater doubles as a fabulous fashion statement and oral health inspo. Buy this monstrosity here.